Originally Posted by
collinsmi 
I think you have to do something so you don't want to drink any more. If I had to go through life wanting to drink because of a stressful situation, an unhappy relationship, or whatever other trigger was floating around, I'd last till about noon. If nothing was handy I'd dig in my past till I came up with something. I most certainly am an alcoholic, but I don't drink, and haven't for quite a few years. Why? (Hint - it doesn't involve strength of character). It's cause I don't want to.
Best I can tell, I lost the desire through being wore out and scared enough after a few decades of extremely heavy drinking and chaotic, desperately unhappy living, to get back into AA and do the steps, and keep doing them. Somewhere in that first year or 2, i discovered I didn't want to drink any more. I keep doing what I need to and it hasn't come back.
That's what's been going on with me for the past few years, and sometimes I didn't even make it till noon...How much I drank depended on exactly what was going on at the time and how bad I felt...and if it was the feeling of being lonely, I would start thinking about things in the past that had gone wrong..( like you said looking for a reason) and just drink anyway...I haven't had any physical symptoms of withdrawal, that's probably also because I didn't drink that much last week...usually if I drink ALOT and stop abruptly I might have a slight physical withdrawal... but I am having LOTS of irritation, depression, and hopelessness.