Welcome, and I'm sorry you are so lonely.
You describe your AH as "kind". That might be a word to think about. Kindness is empathy, sacrifice, presence, and commitment to another's best life.
I don't think he qualifies. Perhaps "passive" is a better word. And since he controls everything in your life, then perhaps passive-aggressive might be an even better word.
That's a lot different from "kind".
If you think he is a gentle victim, you will be less likely to stand up to his disease and his quiet but almighty control.
Keep reading and seeking. It sounds as if you are at the doorway of change.