does anyone have any suggestions or methods on how to just focus on myself,
Work the 12 steps-
THERE IS A SOLUTION. Almost none of us liked the selfsearching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation.
BB page 25
Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They a rise out o f ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.
BB page 62
The most selfish thing I can do today is not practice these steps. They allow me to be someone who is capable of having an adult relationship. People do not have the power to make us drink. In fact, under most situations they only have power that we freely give to them.