I guess overall I'm an emotional disaster area, nuclear radiation is spewing all around, and a couple of people I've met lately like to play with the fallout. Bunch of nutcases in my book, but I'm apparently the leading role in this horror story.
Okay. You are NOT going to like this ....................................
You are RIGHT ON SCHEDULE for you. lmao
No I am not laughing at you. You remind me so much of me when I was where you are now.
I will suggest, you get out pencil or pen and paper, and write about it. Venting on the computer is great! However, something happens when we put that pen or pencil to paper and it is amazing what comes out. Also gets it (whatever 'it' is at the moment) out of ouor head.
Talk with your sponsor. Maybe find some more meetings.
And here is a good response:
"I will take your opinion under advisement and discuss with my sponsor." Then change the subject and walk away.
As to the women who have complimented you, well ................................. I am sure they meant it in a nice way, however (yeah there is that 'but' again) where I got sober when a gal was doing that she was a 'barracuda' and was just as bad as the men 13 steppers. YES, 13 steppers come in both sexes.
Right now, firestorm, your emotions are all over the place, I would suspect you feel like your are in 20,000 pieces and are trying to pull the pieces out of the air and stick them back on your body. It got so bad for me, that for a while I just introduced myself this way:
"Hi my name is SCATTERED and I am an alcoholic."
It was then when this 'stuff' started happening to me and I was feeling like no matter what meeting I went to, they were all a-holes that I started sticking closer to my sponsor, and not in meetings, just sitting and listening in meetings, passing when called on, biting my tongue many times, until I could figure out what was eating at me so bad and why I resented everyone telling me 'how to do it' and many times it was exact opposite from someone else had said. This is when I learned to TRUST MY SPONSOR. Follow my sponsors guide, and before long, those 'people' didn't bother me any more.
You are doing good, honest!!!!!! You are asking great questions, thought provoking questions, showing how seriously you are working on figuring out how to apply all this new info to your life.
Maybe check out some more different meetings. Talk with your sponsor. Listen to your heart, if you can find it under all the emotions and feelings running rampant.
You can PM me anytime.
Love and hugs,