Hey Firestorm,
I would be the last person to tell you what to do and I'm really sorry you feel miserable.That said I did laugh at how you expressed this so bluntly-because that's exactly what I'm like, especially when I used to be drinking.So much anger and needing to throw it at someone-usually people who got sober and stayed that way-and I just couldn't.It made me so mad.At them.The world.It all seemed so unfair.
I was really angry-but it wasn't with them really, it was with myself and underneath that anger?I was just terrified that I'd never get it.I felt like sober people had some mystical secret key to everything that I didn't.But it wasn't true.I was so blinded by my own addiction I just couldn't see there was hope for me till I surrendered to the fact I can't do this alone.(and I don't do A.A btw.)
I get your anger.I just hope that you realise too that no one sober out there hasn't been where you are too.And those people that you think are telling you what to do?Are probably just trying to help you-even if it comes across wrong sometimes.
You can do this too.It's not beyond you.I don't believe you're hopeless.Don't give up,
Jules.