Often we associate codependency with caretaking. benevolence, genorosity.
I associate it with control.
I have behaved absolutely insanely trying to control an exabf.
I caretook my disabled husband into inappropriate control.
And there is someone who is trying to control me.
I believe in healthy interdependence.
That is a whole different ball of wax than the codependent characteristics.
By the way, I hate the label too....but if the shoe fits!
And I have met some people who have so little sense of self that they ARE totally "addicted" and NEED others. Not in the usual sense but in a very unhealthy dependent crippling way.