Still Surviving and you can too!
A few months ago I finally got up and left my AW after years of pain and turmoil. I had to leave my own house and loose much of what I had to do this. I left in the middle of the night after that last physically and mentally abusive episode from that time in my life with my AW. I got a place and slept on an air mattress with a sleeping bag for a couple of months with few possessions. My wife has sued me for alimony and has kept most all of things I have from me with little way for me to fight back in court. Regardless I have managed to claw my way back. I now have my own place that is most of the way furnished and is comfortable and safe. I have friends, al-anon and a job that I really like. I've concentrated on all of these things as well as going to the gym each and every day. Now I also have a therapist that I see every couple of weeks to add to the mix. This has been the worst year of my life but the best year as well. I'm in control of my life for the most part. I wish I could speed the divorce proceedings but my wife digs in her heels and drags it out for every single thing she can get from me. It's a long story but hopefully in another couple of months I can finally be done. It will take a lot to pay her off but I have no choice. The anger used to drive me insane daily but all of the things I mentioned above have helped me through. I'm learning to "let go and let God" more and more. It wont' be that much longer now. I can make it and I know I've been through the worst of it. Leaving is hard guys. It would be a joke for me to say it isn't. I'm getting stronger and stronger now though. I will live and so will you if you choose to go. That's the hardest part to grasp. You don't think you can live but I'm here to say you will. You really will. Hang in there. Stay with it. Do not sit alone and dwell get out and keep your mind and body busy. It will help you through and give you something to strive for. Take good care. I'll check in again. Chris