People drink or use because it feels good. It gives us a great amount of pleasure and internal gratification. It might even offer a kind of sense of belonging when we go out to parties, meet people, and everyone is drinking or using, or both, and having a good time.
The bond that brings us together is a desire to quit. Not perfection, not the ability to have iron clad will power, but the desire. If DK believes that he doesn’t have a problem, or if he thinks he doesn’t really want to quit, that doesn’t even qualify as an addiction, in my opinion.
We don’t abstain because we think moderation or using is acceptable. We are here because we believe it is not for us. We might think that it’s destructive, we might think that it simply hinders our ability to live optimally.
Coming here starts with a decision. That decision is a desire to quit. We all might want DK to quit, or think it’s best for him; we might think he has a great personality and has other things to offer an arguably social support forum besides a desire to quit.
DK, I would wager that the longer you consume that poison, the more problems you are going to have, and, if you do have problems, then you can live in denial or you can at least recognize that you are screwing your life up.
This is an individual choice. There are lots of people who choose to use or choose to drink, and who don’t think that it’s a problem for them. Whether they are right or wrong, they are not in recovery, by definition.
So, why are you torn?