One of the things that made my life so difficult in the past was being blown about by whatever the AH did or didn't do. Everything I did was a reaction to him, and he was totally unpredictable!
These days I try to look at all possible outcomes before I take any action. Having a plan in place, should I need it, is very comforting. Even if I'm not entirely ready to make a decision, just knowing what that decision might be and how I would carry it out has a stabilizing effect on me.
Of course that doesn't mean I'm always prepared for everything. Life is still full of surprises. But by preparing for what I can see as possibilities, I don't feel so much like a paper bag being blown around in the wind.
L