Originally Posted by
Eroica 
I decided to post this thread here instead of in the codependency forums because I'd like to hear from people who aren't 12 steppers, although if you are in AA or Al anon and would like to share, by all means do!
To me, people who are affected by another's drinking or using are not necessarily in need of recovery, because there's nothing pathological about their thought processes. I mean, they're an unfortunate victim of circumstance; it doesn't mean they contracted a codepedent disease that they share with the user. A lot of times, they do what any caring person would do, which in today's lingo would be considered "enabling".
Theres nothing pathological about helping a user avoid the consequences of his actions by funding his habit, keeping him from going to jail, etc. Says who???? In some cases, a person who doesn't have a caretaker would surely die. IMO, telling them that they're diseased because they're a caretaker is reckless. And remember, its always their choice to help.
Do you agree or not? What are your thoughts on codependency and enabling?
Hi, I agree with everything you say, except what I bolded. Funding someone's habit isn't a good idea, IMHO. But we as a society, based on the 12 steps, have somehow made everything into pathology. What you describe above is actually normal and healthy (except for funding). It IS ok for people to still care about others.
