Thanks for the replies. My wife wants to be there with me tomorrow and I really appreciate that. Only thing though is that I would feel much more comfortable giving answers if she weren't. Not that I am going to lie cause I know that will do no good for me, but because I don't want to be rehashing all these things knowing her feelings about them and I don't want her to go through it yet again.
Also, I have heard and read that so many people have had to be hurt really bad (physically or emotionally) before they realized how bad their problem was. I don't believe anyone has been extremely hurt YET (but is hurting)....I know they eventually will be if I continue this destructive past. And I worry that because I haven't actually FELT that hurt, I may not take this as seriously as I should. The drinking has only became heavy within the past 1.5-2 years. And it is not every day, but usually 3-4 times a week but in buckets at a time. Do I fit the ideal of an inpatient? And how can I rehab before I feel that extreme hurt?