Originally Posted by
adore79 
Hardly anyone in meetings I go to mention HP. I asked my sponsor why and she said they dont want to turn newcomers off.
What I hear here is:
People assuming that they have the power -- based on whether or not they talk about HP -- to either get someone into recovery or to prevent someone from recovering.
People assuming that the newcomer can't handle and/or shouldn't have the right to make his/her own decision based on what really is.
People acting like they have to "walk on eggshells" around the newcomer and not say or do anything that might upset him/her or give him/her an excuse to leave.
People being willing to side-step and/or misrepresent and/or downplay and/or conveniently fail to mention their truth so as not to upset the newcomer or give him/her an excuse to leave.
People trying to manipulate the newcomer into recovery by deciding how much of the truth he/she should have access to and when.
People believing that they know, better then the newcomer and the newcomer's HP, what is right for the newcomer and what the newcomer should be doing.
You know, if these people were not alcoholics/addicts themselves, I'd be willing to bet it wouldn't take folks on this site even one hot New York second to call this behavior what it really is: disrespectful, controlling, enabling.
Actually, if the truth be known,
it's disrespectful, controlling, and enabling regardless of whether or not the people engaging in it are alcoholics/addicts or not.
......and, BTW, there is a 12 Step program for people who choose to try to manipulate and disrespect alcoholics/addicts in these ways......
...but, as far as this behavior actually going on on a regular basis in and being explicitly or implicitly condoned and/or encouraged by
any 12 Step group. That's just insane! Please do yourself a big favor and find another friggin' group!!!!!!!
freya