Awesome questions and great responses here. I think I'm starting to get it.
I'm so used to being around hard core AA and when I look at my experience with booze, I'm in a really bad place with it physiologically. I'm in my early 40s and I have a long history with booze.
I am really starting to understand I think... that some of us are different with the booze, drugs, smokes, etc. It's a hard pill to swallow, because I always assumed more is better. Even with my recovery! I think almost anybody who knows me would agree that I do AA hard core. And I'm not the only one. But I think I can now admit, we are strange! So part of this may be my Irish alcoholic ego. IDK. So I can't assume...
I can't assume you drink like anybody else does. Congrats on putting the amphetamines away and the smokes. I know that's tough. I've been Copenhagan free for just over a year now. I have a wife who really really wants me to stick around for a few more years. It's kinda cool.
Now, some people can get and stay sober... doing certain things. I came to AA and immediately felt at home and a real warm sense of connection with other drunks from the first time I was thrown into a detox/treatment center (Washington House) when I was 18. I got a Big Book read it like a novel, and stopped drinking for about a year... but did all the drugs I could find; weed, acid, shrooms, coke, crank, mesc... Then one day, I was going to a country bar with a coworker... trying to meet chicks, and the thought occured to me... If I could just have a few drinks, I could unwind and be myself. Inside of 2 weeks, I crashed my Nova and got my second DUI within 2 years. I felt like the slime that forms on the bottom of ... you know? whale dodo.
So I come to find that I can go to AA, get sober for two years or so... and go back out and drink!
I not only had to come to AA, but I had to get "IN", as if it was life or death, and now I have about 1927 days or just over 5 years and I couldn't imagine trying to stay sober without seeking God and being plugged into a very healthy group in AA. There are times when it ain't fun. They don't stroke my ego and tell me how wonderful I'm doing. They are honest with me and shoot me straight and I try to do the same. I tell you, it constantly goes against all of my instincts and it's a total blast... most of the time.
I really want to learn to help people see their truth in their drinking and what works for them.