Originally Posted by
FreeinMilwaukee 
While I am happy I succeeded in stopping my cycle, I have to remember the difficulty and unpleasantness of the experience. I was dangerously close to a binge and the whole experience was in no way pleasant. I know that I will tempt myself in the future, by telling myself, "you had one and stopped, have one or two now". Non-alcoholic drinkers do not calculate sick days when having one drink. They don't fight with themselves for the rest of the evening to keep from having a second. They also can't say they've had a thousand or so experiences where they were not able to stop at one. Even with one, it still dictated the remainder of the evening. It took all of my attention and energy contain the urge for a second. Normal drinkers probably don't say that either.!
Hi Free,
That's what has kept me in the binge/denial cycle for so long. Often, I can drink one or two and be done with it. How does that cancel out the times I drink for 5 days straight? The only place that works is in my alcoholic little mind.
Thank you for your post and reminding me that just having one or two proves nothing. Because even when I am having one or two, I am thinking all the thoughts you articulated above. I am so conscious of my drinking, and whether I should call it a night or let it go into a full-blown binge, I get nervous when I am sharing a bottle of wine with others and it gets close to empty, etc. etc. - NOT NORMAL.
So even if we can sometimes have one or two, if the experience is one that involves obsessive thoughts and rumination, then we definitely have a problem.
I needed that reminder today. Congratulations for getting back to your sobriety!
Jayne