Crisis precipitates change... Your 50 and alone... angry about the confused wasted years...
I'd be worried if you weren't angry. Be angry! You need that energy to change! But, channel that energy to fuel the life changing process your entering. Don't let it kill your spirit or make you give up.
I am 51... I am pretty pissed about some things... Honestly it does get me down at times... when I feel that happen, I know something is wrong in my recovery.
Keep posting