I guess I'm in the minority here. I couldn't care less what other people think about my drinking or my abstaining. I mean, if they're such busy-bodies that they have an opinion about what you put in your mouth, I wonder about why they deserve much of a role in your life.
I would try to get this thought really straight: Your drinking is damaging to you. If you doubt your ability to withstand peer pressure regarding something that is so fundamentally bad for you, you have a lot of work to do surrounding the issue of why you care about other people's (possible) judgements more than you care about your own well-being.
When I read your post, my biggest thought was, "Boy, your General sure is doing a number on you!!" Do you know what the General is? The General is the alcoholic voice in your head that likes to manipulate your thoughts and try to get you to drink.
You have all these excuses about why you can't just come right out and say that you don't drink. That's the General holding back the right to get drunk. If you don't say you don't drink, then YOU CAN DRINK!
You have a worry in your head about what other people will say if you don't drink. That's the General making sure all of your insecurites are front and center so that you can't take that next step and clarify to yourself that there is something you need to do for yourself now and other people's opinions are crap.
You have this voice in your head saying that if you don't drink, you're a party pooper. That's the General looking for as many things as he can find to make drinking more appealing and sobriety less appealing. He's using your insecurities against you.
You don't want to "out" yourself with your family and friends. That's the General manipulating your thoughts so that something that is clearly GOOD for you is currently being seen as something that is BAD for you. Your family loves you. They want good things for you. They want you to be happy and to live a long and happy life. Telling them that you're doing something so good for yourself should make them HAPPY.
There's a part of yourself that is saying that you are being a pain in the butt by talking about quitting or by quitting. Like you are calling attention to yourself in a negative way. That's the General waving his liver-spotted hands in front of your face, trying to distract you from the truth. Because if you take a firm and healthy step forward toward sobriety, the General gets weaker and weaker and weaker. Doing something that is good for you (think exercise, eating well, learning to love yourself, quitting drinking) cannot ever, ever, ever, in any way, be a negative attempt to gain self pity or attention. Thinking of it like that is exactly what the General wants you to think. Because then you will keep drinking and feeding the General.
You think you might be a party pooper if you stop drinking? That's the General. He has a vested interest in convincing you that the party is in the alcohol. But you know what? The real party - the true party - is in a life well-lived. A life filled with vigor and blessings and wonder and the amazing friendships we sometimes have the luck to discover. The real party is in being alert and focused enough to enjoy a sunrise, the smile of a silly and beautiful child, the taste of good chocolate, love, and a wonderful book that reminds you of how much you have to be thankful for. I didn't have any of those things when I was drinking. And now I do!! That's where the party is.