Reminder - He can manage his own life
Ugh.
It is challenging to extract myself from the bizarre drama in which my XAH is involved. I love and want peace, but there is a part of my spirit that is SO drawn to the craziness that P has to offer. It is an excellent distraction from my issues - so much easier to say "OMG - Look at what he's doing!!!!" than "What is my part here? What needs is this situation meeting for me?"
Apparently after a whirlwind weekend visit, my X is making arrangements to have his first wife move back in with him as a "roommate". He wants to pay her $1500/month + living expenses so that she can quit her job and work on her "writing career". They were married for a little over a year in their early twenties, long before he met me, and, from what he has shared the marriage began and ended very badly. Lots of sexual issues, emotional abuse, screaming fights, and general dysfunction.
From my vantage point, they are two hurting, scared people. She doesn't have a substance abuse issue, but I've never met a more melancholic, broken, and needy person. P actually looks like the "together" one in the match. I would never have imagined that he would seek solace with this woman - he never spoke badly of her, but he made it clear that they fed off each other's negativity and fueled each other's character flaws.
The match just doesn't make sense. Frankly, it seems insane to me.
I'm writing about it here because while I know it is absolutely none of my business, I'm surprised by my emotional response to this situation. It doesn't bother me to think of P being romantically involved with someone else - I'm at peace with that - but I find myself wanting to warn him (and her) about what a bad financial and emotional decision this is. Two sick people making each other sicker - Ick.
Again - I'm not actually going to warn him. I'm not actually going to give in to my desire to micromanage his life, but I think I need to own the desire. It is strong, and it masquerades as righteousness.
This is something I'm going to work on handing over to my HP. I don't know the plans that HP has for P or for his XW. Today I'll work on managing my own life. If life at P's house gets CRAZY, my son and I will both be a nice 2 hour drive away from the insanity.
Thanks for listening.
-TC