Hopeless, I can relate to where your thinking is coming from. You see the potential in your girl friend.
When I got married my husband drank in what I would consider normal amounts. (but I was raised in an alcholic family so my normal was all messed up) anyway as time went on things got worse. You are already finding beer hidden around the house. OH the good old days when the family dog was drinking so heavily in his dog house.... my husband denied putting the beer there, and even got mad that I would think he would put beer in the dog house.
I guess what I want to say is this is forever for the the A. Even if the drinking stops the ism continues. An A can work a program and live an rich life, just like I can as a codie but as soon as I stop my program work I slide right back into my old thinking. For me part of my old thinking was to focus on the potential. Please look at the whole person. What are you willing to live with?