Oh, how well I know the gifts and financial assistance with strings! Then comes the 2 X 4 you speak of!
There are times my parents go into toxic mode and I literally have to go no contact.
Right now I am financially dependent on my parents as I have disabilities (have been fighting that in court for 18 months now), but I am in college full-time to finally get my degree now that both of my daughters are grown.
My goal is to become fully self-sufficient financially once I graduate, and pay my dad off for the car he bought me (that's been a BIG string he's used with me).
Since you're in the early stages of recovery work, I'd suggest you be very careful with accepting gifts and/or financial help. As you grow in your own recovery, you will start to see more clearly the difference between manipulaton and sincere changes in others.
Be good to yourself, cherish your space!
:ghug :ghug