There are two other forums on this site that you may find helpful, depending on what he's addicted to: Friends and Family of Alcoholics and Friends and Family of Substance Abusers. I don't know what it's like except what my kids told me it was like when I was drinking wine all day every day. I WAS very selfish and only wanted to drink myself stupid all the time. It was how I coped with life... and not a good way to cope either.
Now that I'm sober I'm trying to prove myself to my kids and make it up to them for the times I put my 'need' for wine above their need for a sober mom.
An addict CAN get and stay clean and sober, but they have to want it for themselves and not just to please or pacify someone else. You may want to establish some boundaries with your bf. Your life and your feelings are important to you, you don't have to tolerate such selfish thoughtless behavior from someone who's supposed to love you.
I wish you the best, and welcome to our family!:ghug3