Giving up
I just don't think I can handle this anymore. I've become physically ill as well as emotionally ill. Nothing I say or do can bring him out of his denial, and I'm tired. There are days when I'm ok and I think I can cope with this disease, but those days are getting fewer and fewer. I'm to the point where I feel like the only way to keep my sanity is to call it quits. He doesn't understand how I can say I love him, but not want to be with him. I'm so tired and confused. I'm angry with him all the time, I told him that it's not healthy for any of us when I'm mad all the time. I've tried to stop being angry, but just looking at him makes me sick. I can't stand the smell of him and I get to take care of the kids when he wakes them up in middle of the night, because he can't be quiet. Then I'm up all night with the kids while he's snoring away, and I have to work all day on 3 hours of sleep. This is not the life I want.
Carolann