Welcome,
you're are doing the right thing by reaching out for help. My husband and I are both addicts, and we both tend to point the finger at each other a lot. We both recently decided that we couldn't live like that any longer, so he joined AA and I joined NA. And things are getting a little better every day. But we need to do a lot of work on ourselves before we can wok on things as a couple.
I think that until your boyfriend comes to the point where he wants help for HIMSELF, that its really a decision of how much you are willing to go through with him. And try to remember that when he is saying those not so nice things to you, that its the disease talking, not him. I'm sure he loves you, but being an addict keeps us from putting anyone (including ourselves) before our addiction.
I wish you all the best and I hope you decide to get the support and help you need and deserve. Addiction affects everyone in the addict's life, and know that its not his fault that he has this problem. But its completely up to him to get the help he needs. And he may not be at that point for a long time. He may have to hit rock bottom before he sees that there is a problem.
So theres a big decision you need to make, and no one can make it for you. You are an important person and you deserve to feel that you are. Do what you have to do for yourself and don't put your own life on the back burner waiting for him to change, it may never happen.
My heart is with you and I wish you hapiness and love in all you do, my prayers are with you both. .
