Hey there hiding
Originally Posted by
hiding 
...but just realising that there was something massive going on that you had no real awareness of? ....
The damage that was done to us as children is definetly massive. It affects every single aspect of our lives, including our souls. What I have found is that as massive and pervasive as the damage was, the recovery is comparably awesome and affirming.
Originally Posted by
hiding ... Does anyone have any advice on whether I should try to deal with something so huge so soon?....
Being an obsesive compulsive perfectionist, I jumped into recovery with both feet and decided I would do all 12 steps in 12 days and be all fixed
That didn't work for me. I found that putting presure on myself to get well _now_ was exactly the kind of dysfunction I was trying to heal from. Giving my "inner child" permission to heal at his own pace was the first real change in my life on the way to recovery.
Step 1: Starts with "admited". that's it. All you have to do for step 1 is to admit.
Step 2: Starts with "came to believe". Nothing more.
Nowhere in those two steps do I have to resolve the entirety of my relationship with my HP. That relationship is what I build as a _result_ of working the 12 steps. That what it says at the beginning of the 12th: "Having had a spiritual experience as a result..."
Healing my psyche, my "inner child", my soul and my relaionship is _not_ how I started my recovery. It's what happened when I had worked my way thru the 12 steps.
Mike