Well, here are your own words from just a few days ago, Jeff:
As far as my relationship with her, well its on hold, and we agreed that we can talk and start going out again ONLY once she finishes this program successfully AND she has a full time job for at least a month. This will prove to me that she is once again trying to get her life back.
I have made NO promise that we will reconcile or that she will move back in.
For my sake, sanity, piece of mind and that of my kids, she has to prove beyond any questioning that she is in the right track.
so it begins, the first page of the rest of my life (sane!)
The above sounded so good! What has happened to your recovery, my dear? You need to read what you wrote, that was when you were sane. You are losing your grip. Let's be honest. You set some boundaries and limits. She hasn't done what you required yet. You teach people how to treat you. What will you be teaching her about how you want her to treat you if you go back on what you said were the basic things that you required of her to be around you and your children? What message will you be sending the kids? How will this affect you and your recovery???? Insane.
Love,
KJ