Hi I'm new to soberRecovery, I've spent some time reading posts from other members and I'm really impressed with all the caring feedback each one of them recieves. So maybe I could get some feedback on this problem I'm having, if anyone decides to read this...
Well I am actually really new to the whole recovery process, I'm involved in NA, I love meetings and I go to as many as I can. I'll try to keep this short, but my addiction started when I was about 11 with pot and alcohol. And my mom was one of those parents who always said she would rather me do my drugs at home rather than out on the streets. Of course I thought that was awesome, at the time.
By the time I was 16 she was giving me methadone daily.. She has been in methadone treatment since I was 5. And this went on for many years. I was also doing a variety of other drugs as well. But I got to really need the methadone everyday. And I got it free, how lucky was I??????:
I got clean while I was pregnant, and it was with no help or support. Of course I got right back into my old ways once my daughter was born. She's now 2 and I feel enough is enough, I want to stop this cycle before it reaches my child. Anyway, my mom is still on methadone and benzos. And since she found out I'm in recovery every time we see each other, its a fight. She says the meanest things to me, such as: I'm selfish and I'm pushing the family away, I better start making amends, that I'm cold-hearted, I don't care about anyone but myself and my new druggie family (my new NA friends). She says I hate her and I'm making my daughter hate her too. And these are just a few things she says to me. I admit I can lose my cool and say some not so nice things in return. I'm not perfect by a long shot.
I do want my daughter to have her grandma in her life, but she's not the best influence, and I find it too painful to go through this over and over again. I really need people who support me during this time. I'm trying recovery for the first time and I want to succeed so bad. I know my mom is sick she is also manic depressiive. But I'm just stuck. My husband thinks its best to keep my distance and only see her for holidays etc..
Sorry for whining
but if anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it.