Good for you for taking the steps necessary to take care of the kids. I don't blame you one bit for being tired of the merry-go-round. There comes a time when we all have to stop and get off of it!
You're right, it isn't fair for the kids, and since the AD can't see it, thank the Lord they have you.
You're braver and stronger than you know!! tHINGS ARE GOING TO BE BETTER REAL SOON! Do you know why? Because you've made the decision to make them better. I for one am very proud of you!
Hugs, Devastated