is this an alcoholic?
I'm sorry if this seems like a very simple minded question. I always had one view of an alcoholic- one who was passed out drunk all the time and drank from sun up till sun down. However, I think my mother has a problem.
For as long as I can remember she has always had several large glasses of wine (at least 3 or 4) every single week night with dinner. On weekends she ups the ante by drinking either Martini's or scotch, sometimes both. She will have usually 2 martini's at a time then follow it up with 1 glass of wine or sometimes 1 scotch. When it's just straight scotch it is usually 2 or 3 because they put some water in it. She hardly ever gets falling down drunk (I only saw her fall once in my entire life) but she definitely gets to the point where she slurs her words. Now she calls me at home (drunk) and the next day cannot even remember talking to me. She never drinks during the day, always waits for 5 PM. My father has been with her forever, they have a great marriage, and he has never said a word. He does not drink a lot as he always drives, but he takes her out all the time! She has tons of friends, and is the life of the party without getting falling down drunk. We have a very large extended family and no one has ever said a thing about it, but they most likely do not know she drinks every night. I'm also sure they do not get the drunk phone calls I get at least twice a week. Once I said something to my father when I was a teenager and was read the riot act by him because I was being "disrespectful".
If she comes down to visit me (we live very far apart thank god) and I do not drink she makes passive aggressive comments about me never wanting to have a good time, then pressures me to drink even going so far as to pouring me a drink which then leads to more insults because I refuse to drink it. I hardly drink because watching her drink turns me off, and I have 2 little boys running around all the time. My husband only has one drink once in a blue moon. So according to her, we are "boring", which honestly we are not. We have great fun all the time.
If she is somewhere where there is no drinking going on she gets very annoyed and cannot have a good time and will leave early and go elsewhere. She actaully makes fun of people who have parties with no alcohol and thinks it's rude to not have alcohol for guests in case they want it- including children's birthday parties.
Can alcoholics only drink at night? Do they have the willpower to hold off during the day? She is now retired but held a full-time management position her entire life, never had a problem. Our home was always immaculate, and she was/is very well put together. You would never know anything was not perfect. Is this possible of someone who has a problem or am I jumping to conclusions? We do have a very strong family history of alcholism. My grandfather on her side never took a sip of alcohol his entire life because it was so rampant on that side.
Thank You.