Some thoughts, and example of progression
My husband has the legal scripts to be a walking drug store himself. However, we've learned other consequences...
HIs DOC is crack, not pills, I stopped helping buy pills or getting new docs, docs stopped prescribing as his system is clean when he returns....but the effects of someone who physically depends on them to move... Every few months he encounters paralysis, temporary but excruciating, the swelling of pushing himself through the pain to get to his other DOC is slowly killing him and now when ambulance brings him in(because no exageration on paralysis) ER when no only give the required dilaudid and relaxant injection to allow him to sit and move toes. They refuse to admit him or give scripts.
I refuse to pay its a cycle. I often lay in bed wondering, what life will be like for him when hes eventually in prison, and on lockdown because he can no longer fight back. I imagine eventually he'll, if not dead from a deal gone wrong or (according to doctors) in a nursing home, because if this 26 yr old doesnt take better care of himself he will be paralyzed.
Im just sharing to show some types of progression. I focus more and more on me, his life keeps cycling around.
Will he find recovery? Hes certainly been in his share of rehabs. Only God knows. I believe as long as there is breathing theres hope.
I also believe when timing is right my HP will make my easier way out without the extra battles involved.
This was/is one of those guys most people believe is "different", however once addiction takes hold we/they/the human race is equal. It doesnt matter how much potential or wealth a person has. Its just sad,a nd only they themselves can change anyting about it.
As for my husband, even couselors have said, without letting go of his pride and being humble nothing will change long term. Coincidentally, other counselors have said, his pride in many ways has also kept him from committing suicide.
Im posting this, just to share with all those new ones struggling. I used to always believe in happy endings and its taken along time for me to realize sometimes there is just endings.