And still not sure....
Whether I am supposed to be here or not. I keep using alcohol and mixing it with diphenhydromine. Yesterday, I had about 8 beers watching the golf and then for some reason popped half a sleep pill, passed out on the couch, got up and did the same thing about 9 pm. I woke up at 1130 and couldnt fall back asleep and have been up since. I had a bunch of drinks on Thursday-Sunday, a 12 pak of beer and a fifth of JD. Really was a wasted weekend. My family is far away and I guess I just get lonely. I have been doing a better job at moderating during the week. I beat myself up and feel pretty crappy. I am going to try some new antidepressants that I just got perscribed last week. I miss my wife so hard all the time.