deadboy~I was a wine drinkier. Every night for at least the past month and the majority of nights for at least the past year. Always would start after feeding my kids and getting them settled in the evenings. I made the phone calls, said horrible things, did horrible things and decided on my own I had to quit because I was becoming a horrible person. I embarrassed my kids, myself and endangered them. I quit a week ago. My sister is a drug addict. BAD. She's 30 and has twin girls who just turned 8. At least once a week we get calls about what she's done, or her calling all messed up. She's od'd several times. She finally woke up. Guess what did it? She attacked her ex Thursday morning while high and was arrested on domestic violence, resisting arrest and harrassment. THEN DHR gave her kids to her ex and put her on outpatient drug treatment. So, she's facing criminal charges and a long fight to get her girls back.
My point with this is you asked how a person realizes they have a problem. It depends on the person. She may know she has a problem but not know how to solve it or not want to yet. All those times that my parents would cover for my sister and watch her kids whlie she slept off the pills didn't help. All the times when someone else would pick up my son from his girlfriend's because I was drinking didn't help. It ENABLED me and her to feed our addiction.
You gotta stop enabling her.