(((Sis))) aww, sweetie, you've got a lot to deal with. I would recommend the counseling. Sometimes, no matter how much we want to be a part of our birth family, they simply can't be there for us. No amount of love, or trying on OUR part can make it any better.
I'm sorry you're going through all this, on top of dealing with the grief of your brother's death. Please do whatever is necessary for YOU to get some support.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy