No I am not off the opiates that is why I am interested in the program. I am about 12 minutes north of San Francisco. Sounds like you are East Bay and I am Marin County. I am getting more and more desperate to stop because I am not decreasing my amounts. I reconcilled with my boyfriend last week and was absolutely shocked to see that I had gone through 10 40 mg pills in 4 days. I have never been on such high amounts and tomorrow (my day off) I have to sit and cut up these pills so that I don't continue on these high amounts.
I went to my office yesterday and could barely type up some minutes. They were full of typos and I had a difficult time putting together sentences. I couldn't figure out what was wrong until I realized I'm strung out. I have to do something quick. I'm not having a pity party. I'm angry with myself over this and I know I'm a loser right now. I'm just spilling it because I know I'm out of control and I'm running out of time. I'm also snorting the pills now instead of taking them orally. I am so angry with myself. I must go back and read through all the advice, pick a way and just stop this.
I used to hate posts like these when I wasn't drinking. I'd want to shake the person and say, stop talking about it and just do it.