your story is not all that unfamiliar to this forum, this is the ultimate bad ending to drug users and am very sorry it had happen to your brother.
for your sake (physical and mental health) you need to get help to deal with the loss and the loss of your dad due to the divorce.
you are right, if a "family member" does not call you, visit you, or gets together with you unless YOU go to their home, then its not a family relationship, its more of an acquaintance that has the same blood line as you.
do keep contact with them (post cards, birthday cards, occasional phone call) otherwise you need to stop hurting yourself expecting them to change, step 1 of alanon sorta applies to you here ( I am powerless over the addict [in this case the loved one], I am powerless over their actions).
also you have to remember the 3 c
you did not Cause this
you can not fix this
you have no control over this
hope this helps a little bit, and keep coming back for support.
I recommend you look up the thread for alanon, it can help you in this case too.
Jeff
