Need to Vent
My younger half brother is also a addict, we have never been close, he was with my brother, or found my brother the night he Od, I will never know the truth, which is ok I guess, I am grateful that somebody found him other than my mom or myself.
Anyway, he is in jail, he steals, he had a visit yesterday, only 3 allowed, so I knew I wouldnt go in, but I went and waited for my dad and his wife to come out to hear how he was doing, as no one contacts me. First thing I get is have you been calling his PO, I was so shocked and so hurt, but after leaving them and crying forever, they asked because they knew I used to do it to older brother, like 4 years ago, before I got it that it didnt help.
So i can understand a little why they asked.
To make it easier to understand my pain, my dad and mom divorced when I was 14, dad divorced us also, never came to get us, no xmas or birthdays, It hurt so bad, but I came to accept my dad, all I ever wanted was love, if I wanted to see him i went to him, I used to live in Virginia so i only saw him whem I came home to Missouri once a year, but I moved back 8 years ago, they have never been to my house once.
His wife(my stepmom) they have been together for about 28 years, she never treated my brother and I good at all, but I wanted to be with my dad so i just accepted it.
I thought I wanted to be a part of younger brother lifes as he is the only one I have, sibling, I have step's but they never contact me, but now I think I need to get back, i know better to get involved in the chaos. before this I wrote him a long letter told him I loved him, i would pray for him, wrote about the lose of older brother as we have not talked since the day of the funeral, I have wanted to share this loss with him, as i know he is hurting also.
I dont know what to do, I love my dad, but I have never been important to him and I just cant take the hurt, he cant be talked to because he doesnt get that he just left us.
maybe counsling would be a good thing, i cry everyday over my older brother, I know it will take time, I miss him so much, I am trying to change things, my blood pressure has been through the roof, so for my health I am gonna have to make the right choices.
I thank you all for listening.
hugs,
sisofD