Originally Posted by
Wascally Wabbit 
This really got to me. In my humble opinion, this Uncle is hurtful and mean. There is no "big heart" with someone who constantly belittles others. Sounds like dad is just making excuses for Uncle's behavior.
It means a lot to hear this. As I start to heal, I see myself recognizing bad behavior I never saw before, and this is one of those situations. However, it's really hard to be sure about it all the time. I fall back into those bad habits of thinking it wasn't so bad and that I shouldn't be complaining. When I briefly spoke to my brother today, he accidentally let it slip that my dad was saying the same old things like "she's just so negative all the time now. All she does is see the bad. You know, that's just the way [my uncle] is. You have to take him like that." Easy for him to say, since my uncle has never said a cruel word about him. After hearing about that, I second guess myself. Hearing that I am not wrong is against my family's rules and it feels good.