I imagine that was a very intense Meeting, especially if it's one you have been going to that long and have built up a close relationship with so many other Members.
You mentioned feeling like you could break down crying, go for it! I know for me, when I was using, I didn't cry until things got so intense in my life that I screamed, cried, threw things . . .all at the same time. Now I let myself feel my feelings when they are happening. I truly believe tears are a way of cleansing the soul. I have shared this a few times lately here on SR, I will set a timer for 15, 20 minutes, have a good cry and then when the timer dings, it's time to turn off the tears and begin a mental gratitude list. Sometimes I have even wrote it down.
I'm sure you do have an overwhelming sense of gratitude tonight. My Dad was diagnosed with Cancer a little bit shy of me having one year clean and sober, and he died about 3 months later. He kept saying, "Ah, don't be all sad, I've lived a full life, I've gotten my sh*t together (meaning he was clean and sober) he saw me get clean and sober and on my way to a new, productive life. And although his last month or so was spent in a great deal of pain, he was grateful that he didn't suffer for years like some people do.
It's natural for you to be sad, knowing that your time with these people is limited. But it sounds like this guy is really at peace, he is happy, lived a full life and isn't afraid of dying. I know it's hard to accept, but when he said not to worry, he'll be alright, it sounds like he doesn't want a bunch of sadness during his last days on earth. Try to respect that and at the next Meeting give him an extra smile and hug. . . let him know how he has touched your life in a positive way.
It's ok to cry.
And regarding Friday nights being different than they used to be, isn't it nice though to not have to do the make up, hair, get all dressed up, just to get sick and puke everywhere? lol And not spending a bunch of money and remembering what the heck I did sure is nice!
God Bless,
Judy