Fizzy, that's just how I felt when I had my last binge, only it was Christmas time for me. I was so happy to have days in a row with no one to "watch me". How sad to get excited about becoming oblivious to our surroundings. As it was with you, there was a difference that last time. I feared death was near, I was losing my ability to do battle with alcohol, or make excuses for myself anymore. I do find that the memory of those final days becomes dimmer with every month, and I constantly have to revive it. Thanks for helping me to remember where we came from. Bless you Fizzy - I'm so happy for you.