Fizzy congrats on the year and thanks for the share.
sheer willpower and benzos don't seem to do the trick just yet.
Bangoob have you thought about a program and support group? Trust me you are not alone in needing help in staying sober, the really great thing about a program is once one has stayed sober for a while the rewards of helping others to stay sober are priceless and make staying sober even more rewarding.
BTW I have heard a lot of recovered alcoholics speak of benzos as alcohol in pill form!
Benzos have thier place in detoxing, but have nothing to do in staying sober long term.