Re: Need some insight on things?
Hey anonlily,
It is confusing to start learning about alcoholism; what it does with the alcoholic, the effect it has on those who love them, the reason we are in the messes we get in. Until someone is ready to change, no amount of pleading, begging, pushing, arguing, or supporting is going to do any good. That is not just with alcoholism, but with any human being. What I think is good for someone else may not be. I want things to be a certain way for my own benefit. It is not my responsibility to live anybodies life other than my own. The alcoholic has to decide for themself when and if they are going to be totally abstinate. Some never are. If they want to be, they will be, no matter who else is drinking. That is only an excuse as to why they are drinking. I know many alcoholics that work and socialize around alcohol and it doesn't bother them. It is a manipulation for anyone to blame you for something they chose to do. If you don't have a problem, why should you feel guilty? Does the whole world have to quit for an alcoholic to quit? No. If you feel guilty and confused, abused and treated poorly, you may want to take a look at why. No one can beat me up emotionally unless you have already beat myself up. Reading Alanon literature, and co dependent literature has helped me to change how I view things in my life. Life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I perceive it. Hugs, Magic