Jules, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. Wouldn't it be wonderful, if after a specified time...I think a week would be nice, we'd wake up in the morning, feeling fabulous and say "OK, that's done, now what do I want to do today"? I'm being flippant, I know, but this road is full of pitfalls and you have helped SO MANY with your inspiring posts. The funny thing for me is that I have a love/hate relationship with sobriety. I don't like the things it puts me through, but I know that I am a better person because of it. I hate the fact that I am an alcoholic, but if I weren't, I wouldn't have discovered my inner strength, nor my relationship with my HP (spirituality). Keep in mind, these are "good day" thoughts. On bad days, I feel weak and stupid and less than and insecure and .....But, for me, on balance, sobriety is way,way,way better. Not easy, often frustrating, sometimes excruciating, but better. Hang in there, we love you and please remind ME that I said this when a bad day slams me in the head.