Another session is scheduled for tomorrow. I'm beginning to second guess whether or not this stuff is really good for me. It is not only mentally wearing on me but is physically taxing as well. I got a great compliment this afternoon about how pale I look, that I'm always edgy, and that I look angry all the time. I followed the directions on my xanax prescription to the letter and now I'm out again. I think my ARNP only gives you 15 pills per month. I'm bringing this up at the appointment tomorrow that I'm having coverage issues with my anxiolytic. I think this is due to being on suboxone before and that magnifying the effects of the xanax. Now I'm off the suboxone and the effects of the benzodiazepine is negated.
I have been keeping busy so as to not ruminate constantly on negative thoughts. Been doing a lot of spring cleaning and getting ready to do some minor to moderate landscaping (just got back from Home Depot). I feel like emotionally exhausted but am anxious for the ARNP to see how intense these treatments are tomorrow and how they affect me. I will have a "med adjustment appointment" directly after my EMDR session. I guess just wish me luck people. I will try to update tomorrow. Please pray that I will get my meds where they need to be in order for this treatment to be fully effective. Thanks.