Nobody ever guaranteed that the 1st step would be easy. The BB uses verbage such as Great Persuader and "beat me into a state of reasonableness" and pitiful and incomprehensible and demoralization and self-deception (pg 31) and experimentation and great obsession and persistence and gates of insanity and death and "lost our legs" and "never grow new ones".
It goes on and on. But the book encourages us to go out and drink booze and try to control it to get a full knowledge of our condition. It warns/encourages us to do this to get a full knowledge of our condition but it will or may give us a bad case of the jitters.
But now here's my experience; even knowing or thinking or believing or conceding to your inner most self does not guarantee your ability to stay sober, go to meetings, do steps, experience and develop a relationship with God, etc. Because as the book warns, the Great Obsession of each and every "abnormal drinker" is that the drinker can control and enjoy it. Realize that from about page 23 or 24 on to 43 talks about booze when it's NOT in our body but in our head.
I think the worst disservice you can do to the new person is to label them an alcoholic. Shut up and let them come to that conclusion. Invite them in, pull up a chair for them, maybe give them a cup of coffee if they'd like... then leave them alone and let them listen. Let them identify. Give them the dignity to find out for themselves if they're a real alcoholic. They also need to decide for themselves if they are willing to "go to any lengths" to get sober... aka do these steps that we do in AA.
Oh, let me qualify; do these steps that WE require in my particular home group. Is it right to demand that every participant is a real alcoholic in a particular meeting? Closed meeting? Well, I guess that's alright. There is the blue card for closed meetings. We go a step further and ask that you introduce yourself as "alcoholic only". We also require you to do steps on a yearly basis. Is this fair? Is this right? I'll bet this is not according to World Services. But that's ok. We'll claim tradition 4; Anonymity, or is it uninonynanonymity? Well anyways, call us an underground meeting. For we have more than one requirement. But this eliminates all the BS.
So give the new person the dignity to come to their own conclusions and don't rush them unless they're ready. How do you know they're ready? We ask them two questions and if they answer them straight up and without sarcasm or doubt, we proceed;
None of this "Keep coming back" stuff or this "One day at a time" garbage. Where does it say One Day at a Time in the Big Book? It says something to the effect of working day by day with the new man, but why coerce and beg the new person in? Where does it say anywhere in the Big Book that we're supposed to "Promote" the newcomer?
I belong to a healthy group that does steps. If you wanna drink then go drink. We won't be happy about it, but if you need to finish the job off, get going. Drink out there. Don't drink in here. And if the drunk leaves the group and goes and drinks, don't follow him. That stuff is contageous. It's not ok to drink. When I drank and came back to raise my hand, Frank (RIP) didn't give me a warm-fuzzy hug. He said "Slipper!" He said "I can stay sober! You can't! So sit down and shut up!" But then he followed that up with "But he's got another chance, because he's got guts!" He had me so p!$$'d that I stayed sober for the next year just to spite him.
Evidently, I wouldn't be the only person that Frank would use this "technique" on.
We're not a popularity contest. Seeing a guy with over 30 years go and do 4th step inventory with us and share his 5th step with us gives me hope. If this process helped you get closer to God the first time, why on earth would you only do it once? Plus it gives us stuff to talk about and topics to discuss throughout the year. We all do steps together, and we do all 12 steps. So that's what we chair our meetings on. We talk about our current experience on steps 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11, and 12 and all of the 12 Traditions Long-Form. We don't have gratitude meetings.
We're not very popular. But that's cool.
We let the new man and woman know right up front what's to be expected of them, we tell them to buy a book, read it and get in. If a drunk can afford to buy themselves a drink or two, they can afford a $7.00 book.