Thanks for the responses, they really do help. I can see myself becoming healthier as I realize just how wrong some things were, but it's nice to get reassurance that I'm not just crazy
What's funny is that my uncle is not my dad's brother. It's actually my mom's sister, so my dad's relationship is only through marriage. Now that my parent's marriage has recently ended, they decided to still have a relationship with my dad. Which is great, except for the fact that they have turned their backs on my mom and blame her solely for the divorce. It's rather sad.
I wrote my dad an email last night after writing this. I just couldn't stop myself. I asked him why no one ever stood up for me, why they laughed along, why they just watched me being treated so badly. He hasn't responded. I don't like laying the guilt on my father, he never treats me the way my uncle did, but I guess I just feel betrayed and I'm looking for answers. Maybe answers that I'll never have. I just feel some sort of injustice when he asks me to go out there again, tells me that my uncle is family and deserves my respect.
It's funny because as I'm reading all of this ACoA material, they say that fear is the core emotion. That's what I felt last night when I had a break down. I've never felt fear before, not about my family and I know it's necessary, but I didn't expect it to come from situations that didn't involve alcohol.
I keep adding to this post, but I just have a hard time understanding my dad. My mom, well, my brother calls her a broken person and it's true. She had a terrible past, bla bla, her family still treats her terribly today and she doesn't have a clue on how to stand up for herself. So it's not surprising to me that she never helped me. Doesn't make it right, but I understand it. My dad on the other hand comes from a great family, a family that I realize he's kept me away from by telling me "you shouldn't worry Granny about those bad things or your problems." That's been ingrained for so long now that I don't know how I could talk to her or anyone on that side of the family. I know now that they're there though. Anyway, it's hard for me to understand my dad's behavior and I can't explain why he never stood up for me.