SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - girlfriend appears to be a closet drinker?

04-06-2009, 11:09 AM

# 9 (permalink)

CrackQuack

Member

Join Date: Mar 2009

Location: Dayton, OH.

Posts: 879

Quote:

Originally Posted by deadboy1977

I have been seeing a woman (35) for about 2 months now. I love her dearly. The only problem I see with her is that every now and then she goes on these drinking binges (always wine) where she gets totally hammered at home when she's alone. If she is with me it doesn't happen. She will drink so much that she doesn't even remember anything. She makes late night calls to me and others at times stating that she wants me to come over (like at 2AM and I live 2 hrs from her!), and also gets mad picking on things in the relationship that she states bothers her (i.e. alimony payments to my ex, etc). If I don't answer the phone she calls over and over again until she I guess gives up and sometimes leaves a message or text's me. I believe she told me that she went through recovery once in her early 20s. What's a guy that loves her to do?????????????

You Love her already??? After only two months? My suggestion is parroting another person's suggestion. RUN RUN RUN! Especially if you think you love her. That is way too soon to be in love. That is just my opinion, take it as you like, but seriously step back and examine what you have invested in this relationship.
I also like the suggestion about asking her if she thinks she has a problem. If she says no, you CAN NOT help her. You simply can't. I tried with my ex, who handed me the crack pipe, and it totally blew up. Since he lives off of his millionaire parents, I told them what their son does with their money. It was mostly good for me. It broke the ties that he had me bound to him with, and set me free, but he's still deep in active addiction, selling possessions, himself, and finding other means to rip his parents off in order to get more, and as much as we'd like to save these people, the only thing we really can do is let them go as we need to stay clean/sober ourselves and as much as it will hurt, she is being on her best behavior right now. It will only get worse and the more you invest, the more ties she has to bind you and the harder it will be to let go.
Let go now, pray for her, hope she comes around and sees the light, and gets sober.