Worry, Stress, and Haircuts
Things have been progressing well here with the boys. The surrender hearing for the boys is this week, and I am as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I know that there's nothing that can forestall either the surrender or termination of my sister's and her husband's rights, but the whole thing has me on edge.
My Mom was here for this past week, and it was just such a blessing to have her and my niece here to help out with the boys! With Mom here, I actually got to leave the house sans children, and I used the time to go get all my hair whacked off. The stylist took me for serious when I said short, and I walked out with about eight inches less hair than what I walked in with!
I got to talk to Sis this past week, and she actually sounded like my sister instead of a sad, shadow of who she used to be. There was a vibrancy in her voice that's not been there for many years. Perhaps even with the decision that she had to make, she realizes that this is a beginning. She said that she is working a program in the jail (RU program?), and she wanted to thank me for everything we've done for the boys. I told her that we loved the boys, and would do ANYTHING for them. I tried to explain to her about the letter situation, and she told me she didn't know what her husband was thinking, but that she was fine with things. She started talking about the future, and what it may bring. She is aware that she will have a long time before she can even potentially see the children, and what our conditions for visitation are. She will have to pass a drug screen before we will allow her to see the boys. I feel sometimes like I'm being a real hard ass, but it's my job to protect the children, and I've never been known to do a job half way.
She cried a little, and I can't imagine having to give up my children. I am sure the pain of it might very well kill me. It was almost a perfect phone call, until she jumped on the "poor" husband bandwagon. How bad he had it, how stressed he was, and how much he had lost... Yea, I can honestly say that's when the switch in my head flipped over and I started hearing Charlie Brown's teacher. I ended the phone call with telling her that if they offered her grief counseling that she should attend it. I can't stop her from trying to make him NOT the bad guy here, but I can try to put the brakes on when she starts!
So this week I am going to take many deep breaths, and try to not stress and worry too much. The husband still may try to avoid parental rights surrender, but with the severe abuse charge now confirmed if he doesn't surrender they will forcibly terminate. I hope that everyone else has a calm week with little quacking!