Would I be a horrible person if I kicked him out of my house after moving him here?
No! He is an alcoholic and a drug addict the BEST thing you can do is STOP giving him a soft place to land.
He has no where to go. I'm scared if I kick him out he will end up dead by drinking or running his mouth and get into a fight or fall down the stairs when he is drunk.
He is a grown man who knows he has a problem and chooses to maintain his problems instead of find help and solutions. He has every right to live HIS life the way he chooses. If he chooses to drink and drug that is his choice. YOU have every RIGHT to keep alcoholics and addicts out of your home and away from sucking dry YOUR resources.
His illness can start to have a serious effect on your mental health and your financial well-being if you let it. Glad to hear you are going to AlAnon - that really turned my head around in relation to my alcoholic brothers. I was making myself cuckoo because of their problems with alcohol-- at AlAnon I learned how to just step off of their side of the street and get back on my own where I belong!!!
If he falls down drunk, or sadly dies it is not your fault. You are simply not that powerful to make him change nor to hasten his demise. He is the one choosing what will happen to him.
He is my only parent.
And if he was a sane and sober parent he would advise you not to sacrifice your mental health and your plans and your happiness for his insanity. You don't have to give up on him - but you do have to "let go" or be dragged!!
You can give him a ride to a shelter and the number to AA and tell him you love him but YOU can't help him anymore. There are many people at AA who have walked in his shoes who can help him with his problem. You're not a recovered alcoholic so you can't help him get and maintain sobriety - and he has to choose recovery himself. You can continue to love him from afar and send him loving messages.
I need to stop bailing him out.
I agree 100%.
Good luck - glad you found this place - stick around!!
peace-
b