Dolce, I'll share about my struggle with HP and how I finally figured out how to overcome that barrier and still benefit from a 12-step program. Maybe some of this will speak to you.
I struggled with the concept of HP (and all the religious undertones that come with that) until I finally realized: the point of "giving it up to HP" is about trusting that I'll get the answers if I get out of my own head. Example: when I am trying to remember something, but it won't come to me, the minute I stop thinking about it (when I finally get out of my own head, and I stop trying to figure it out), the answer comes to me. That's the key: the answers come to me when I stop trying... when I give it up. It's not about believing in a spirit being that's out there waiting to solve my problems. It's about believing that the answers are there (within me, or outside of me, it doesn't matter) but that they will come to me, if I allow them. But I do have to allow some space in there (my mind) for them to come. If I am constantly analyzing and trying to figure it out, there's not a lot of room for the answers to surface. For me, the answers come from within. After I do everything in my power to solve something, and it's still not working, that's when I give it up... to the HP of my understanding (in my case, a mix of philosophies, not religion nor supreme beings. You'd be surprised what folks consider their HP, probably not what you think!) I can imagine someone using their heart as their HP. Can you trust your heart? Your subconscious mind? These are all parts of you and so would honor your stated belief in yourself.
Re: meetings and shares. If folks aren't sharing at your meetings, is it stated anywhere that you can't share? Maybe everybody is waiting for someone else to share. Be the change that you want to see.
Take care of yourself, you are already on your path of healing!
elena