I guess I struggled with the acceptance thing, a little bit, this week with Brit. I posted about the situation, and got a lot of feedback. Many think I should have been tougher on her, and I understand. However, I'm comfortable with the way I handled it and I had to accept that yes, I let her "get away" with something, and I KNOW better, I did what I felt was right, in my gut, and just let it go.
I got a very good reminder that taking care of ME is a good thing! I ended up taking BOTH my days off! It was pouring down rain and I just didn't want to get out in it..felt like I was setting myself up for some idiot to run into me (a little more PTSD?) I still have enough time to do the merchandising work the rest of the month.
I realized I haven't done any school work in SIX MONTHS, so tackled both books and got them done...95 on the first, 100 on the 2nd
Also got the paperwork done to get my transcripts to the school.
I checked my checking account, today, and realized that I've paid back my credit card the amount I put on it for the body shop, have paid all the bills that are due, ordered new shoes for work (my nephews new puppy chewed a hole in them, and I needed new ones anyway but had put off ordering them) and I STILL haven't put the $500 check in the bank from the insurance company!
I racked my brain, convinced I was missing a bill, but I'm not. I go back to work tonight, and have a week of tips coming in. I'm not bragging, I am simply amazed. It's like after all these months of struggling, working all the time and paying bills ahead when I can, a little ray of sunshine has decided to shine down on me.
I'm quitting smoking tomorrow...going to get the patches on the way to work tonight. This will be a huge challenge, but I'm going to throw all my recovery tools at it, and as a friend of mine here, recommended, I just may throw the toolBOX at it, too. I am using the money to settle on a collection account, which will end up saving me $3000. Last time I tried to quit, it was all about money. This time, I think, my heart's in it, so wish me luck.
On another good note, I hear Brit commenting on things that she has picked up from me and my codie recovery. We're still working on the forgiveness thing with her dad, but she's learned how to not get in the middle of her best friend and best friend's sister's arguments, as well as those between my stepsister and stepmom. It's the little things, like this, that make me realize my actions DO have an impact.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy