I hope it's not too late for me.
Hon there is always hope!!! When I went into detox I felt hopeless, I had reached the point where I had to drink every day just to feel normal, the booze did not take me where I wanted to go any more, I either felt normal or I was passed out, there was no inbetween, there were many times in the end where I could not drink enough to get a buzz, every evening was a blackout for like 5 years.
I went into detox and then to AA meetings and got a sponsor and we took the steps. Today thanks to the program of AA & the fellowship I am happy, joyous & free!
Just a suggestion if I may, if oyur health right now is keeping you from going to meetings, why not call the AA hotline in your area, tell them what is up, perhaps a few ladies could get together and bring a meeting to you, or perhaps one of the ladies could assist you in getting to a meeting.
I would be willing to bet that your health will improve once you have been sober a while.