SleepyCherie

I do have to correct this statement- he really is very good to me. He's never been disrespectful or name calling like my x was daily. He's kind and passionate, he is committed and great with my kids. When I say outside of the drinking, we really have a perfect fit, it's true. Otherwise this decision would be really easy. The times when I've posted about his drinking behavior, it's been because I'm pissed that he's drinking, but his behavior isn't "different". He's one of those fully functioning A's.

I don't think going back to my x is the right option. I know he's better and that he'd also treat me well now, but there is no connection, no spark.

I'm really prone to bolting at the first sign of rough water. I don't finish many things. Half of my personality traits point to codie, the other half point to a non-committal portion of me that blocks out accepting other people because of my childhood.

I am in counseling and am trying to work towards a better me.

If it makes a difference, I have been looking at renting a house alone. I know I have a furnished house sitting empty, but it's 2 hours away from my children's school and father.. and I'm out of work right now.

*sigh*

Can't there be an easy answer? Flip a coin? Sit tight until I stop waffling?